"If it's been a great point, regardless of whether he won or lost it, he always seems to have enjoyed it. When he plays, he remains a child. You can feel the wild nature of a kid," actor Steve Carrell said about Carlos Alcaraz, and his words contain a message as profound as it is true.
Because, far beyond technique, physical and mental strength, or work, the Spanish tennis player stands out for something equally or more precious than all of that. A 'gift' that allows adults, regardless of their age, to continue having the ability of children to enjoy everything they do. A 'gift' of life that both the very young Alcaraz, 21 years old, and the veteran Bruce Springsteen, about to turn 75, enjoy as if there were no tomorrow.
How do some people manage to squeeze every moment as if they were children, regardless of their age? "By adopting the attitude of a child!" exclaims Antonio Jorge Larruy, founder of Espacio Interior (Barcelona).
And how is that done? In Larruy's opinion, "there are three key parameters to adopt that childlike attitude that allows us to enjoy everything we do in life in contrast to the misunderstood adult, the adult trapped in their mind."
The first is "living in an absolute and infinite present. For Springsteen, when he steps on stage, or for Alcaraz, when he jumps onto the court, there is nothing but that moment. They don't rely on what they did yesterday, nor do they try to foresee what they will do tomorrow, because they know that, to create a fresh and full work, they cannot project their minds towards future goals or anchor themselves in the past."
The second great characteristic is "always giving it your all, because you can only live in one way: 'to the fullest'. This is one of the mottos that has accompanied me throughout my life. 'I go out to give it my all' in everything I do: when I give a lecture, when I chat with a friend, when I swim...".
According to Larruy, "Springsteen and Alcaraz 'go out to give it their all', because they are warriors. Just like Pavarotti was, or Beethoven in his day. They are people who are willing to do everything. For them, the commitment must always be total and 'gratuitous'; not a commitment conditioned by what is received. It's not that miserable attitude of giving while expecting to receive something, applause, or money (although those may come later). It's a commitment like that of a child, who lives life without expecting anything in return. When they laugh, they do it sincerely; when they sing, they do it at the top of their lungs; or when they cry, they do it because that feeling genuinely emerges...".
The third, Larruy continues, is authenticity. "Children are authentic. They are transparent, they don't filter, they don't pretend. Posturing requires an effort that distracts from the present. When Alcaraz plays, he doesn't try to give the image of a good tennis player, nor does Springsteen try to impress. Only what is truly real makes us happy, and when we try to portray something fake to be 'better', all we achieve is sinking into misery."
Springsteen and Alcaraz "know who they are and know their worth. They are spontaneous, fresh, and clean. They dare to show themselves with total nakedness and transparency. Without disguising, because they know that, by hiding, you cannot enjoy life."
Why do we lose that childlike enthusiasm? "Undoubtedly, social pressure is a very influential factor. Since we are children, society throws 'limiting assumptions' at us that, as we grow older, nest in our subconscious, frightening us to push us towards a continuous and excessive control of each of our actions. Through education, society plants in us the seed of narcissism, the denial of the present, and that tendency to 'reserve' and 'dose' ourselves, which prevents us from fully committing to everything we do."
Larruy points out how, "instead of encouraging us to live in the present, commit, and be authentic, which, as mentioned before, are the keys to enjoying a full life, we are taught to focus on projecting the image that is 'expected of us'. Without malice, simply out of inertia, we are taught to act in a fake way, because we are inculcated with something terrible: we are not valued for who we are, but for how we appear."
It sounds terrible, but, without us realizing it, "society stains our virgin childlike minds, originally open to life without reservations, undermining something as natural and inherent to the human being as self-confidence, making us insecure and concerned about what others will say."
Without realizing it, "society constantly sends us messages that enhance our insecurity and fill our minds with illusions of false promises that will never materialize. The challenge lies in letting our authentic self emerge, re-educating our unconscious dimension to free ourselves from that stain and, in this way, open ourselves to the magic of life, creativity, and inspiration."
How can we regain enthusiasm for everything? "Regaining enthusiasm for things is a concept linked to neurosis, illusion, being illusory, and illusions. The neurotic lives enslaved by illusions and the expectation of achieving things. And that is precisely what we must rid ourselves of. The idea is not to live in pursuit of illusions, but to be full of enthusiasm for life. Enthusiasm that manifests through any action we take. Because getting excited implies becoming enslaved by things."
The real change, he continues, "will be achieved if we actively promote that enthusiasm for everything we do, no matter what it is. For me, maturity is living with enthusiasm, not in getting carried away by illusions." Let's live, then, with enthusiasm. Happy holidays!