"Thinking a little less about ourselves and a little more about others is the path to true success and true happiness." That's what his new book, Surrounded by Narcissists (Ed. Planeta), is about. And this is despite Thomas Erikson (Sweden, Örnsköldsviks Församling, Örnsköldsvik, September 19, 1965) admitting not to be religious. But he puts us in the dilemma of choosing between a path paved with vanity, egocentrism, superficial relationships, greed, social isolation, guilt, and chaos or choosing another path: "Instead of vainly pursuing an utopian idea of personal perfection, we can aspire to a state of continuous improvement," he reflects. But that requires more effort.
When his American editor called him proposing this delicate topic, he thought he didn't have much to contribute because he had already written about psychopaths. However, when delving into narcissism, he realized it was a pandemic. "Half of the people on television and in Hollywood are narcissists. And I'm being conservative with that 50%. Cancel culture is collective narcissism, playing a role in creating chaos or trying to destroy someone's career by attacking an individual until they are shattered. That didn't exist 10 or 15 years ago, so there was a topic." Is it daring without being a psychologist or psychiatrist? "It's true that I'm not, but I am a good popularizer, as I have shown in my books. I believe that the key to my success is popularization," he argues.
A narcissist makes everyone around them suffer "because they manipulate, use us, deceive us, lie, steal... If you are mistreated, you end up suffering mentally, from stress to anxiety, burnout, to depression if it persists over time. There are many ongoing studies trying to determine to what extent toxic behaviors affect your brain. The brain has that neuroplasticity: you can physically damage the brain by being mistreated, but you can also repair the brain if you get out of that situation. In fact, you can change your environment and improve your brain state. A narcissist can shatter your self-esteem, make you feel like the worst person in the world. And how do you recover from that, if you have a mother who tells you that you are worthless and a loser? It will certainly be very harmful".
"Today we promote successful people with a good appearance. The 20-year-old guy driving a Lamborghini is the one who captures our attention because maybe we would like to be like him. Narcissism is part of Western values in a society of self-promotion. We emphasize individualism and freedom: you can do whatever you want. In the Arab or Eastern world, for example, the orientation is more collective. Individualism is not promoted as much as here in Europe. And if we take it too far, we find people who end up going off track. Saying: work on yourself, train hard, you can build your life, your career, etc., is great, but if you build that self at the expense of others and society, instead of giving to receive, then it is harmful because the narcissist wants it all. These behaviors, for example, are not accepted in Japan. It's a different philosophy, a different cultural context. While it is a global phenomenon, in the West, we see it more exacerbated".
"There is no equivalence between personality types and narcissism. Often, yellows and reds are labeled as narcissists because of their extroverted traits. But it is not limited to those two colors. There are covert narcissists who feel superior to others, believe the world treats them unfairly, but are introverted, often greens. We see it today when they try to draw attention by playing the victim. This manipulation is very subtle, not about causing harm with a stick and a stone. I would say that in blues, those are the profiles that are most trustworthy because they don't care what others think of them. So, they have less tendency towards narcissism. But it's not something that can be proven because there are no studies".
"Politicians, for example, spread their ideas. They are speakers who reach every corner of the planet in seconds. We see it every day, and they are everywhere".
"The clearest example of a public narcissist is Donald Trump, but there are toxic people on the left and the right. It is not an exclusive trait of one ideology. What is interesting about Trump is that some people hate him viscerally, and at the same time, he is fantastically loved by others. He is truly a very problematic figure. If you watch an interview, 99% of what he talks about is himself. His competition on the Democratic side will never admit it as a fact, but he did some good things when he was in the White House, just as he also said many foolish things. The thing with narcissists is that if they receive the right attention, they can also do good things. He believes he knows everything, without a protocol, so he is a loose cannon. But there have been other narcissistic presidents in the history of the United States. Kevin Dutton, a British psychologist, member of the Royal Society of Medicine and researcher, studied psychopathy and said that John F. Kennedy was the worst psychopath. And the second was Bill Clinton, although Hillary scored very high. And we see them as smiling and wonderful people. Because narcissism is a manipulation technique that is in politics, in companies, on television... everywhere. They always suspect and think someone is against them. We could feel sorry for narcissists because they do not feel love and empathy for other human beings. In their hearts, they know they are not really that good, but they are trapped in their game. They always want more. And if they have a Mercedes and the neighbor has a Bentley, they are screwed. Narcissists are always comparing themselves and believe they should have the best. Why does my house have 20 rooms and that other one has 25? It's unfair! They assume they will be treated as they treat others. But they are fully aware of what they do, so they don't evoke much pity from me".