Mel B "didn't realise how bad" her allegedly abusive marriage was until she had gotten out of it.
The 48-year-old pop star was married to producer Stephen Belafonte from 2007 until 2017 in what she has alleged was an abusive relationship — although he has always denied the claims — and she has now explained that she has found a "safe space" in returning to the judging panel of America's Got Talent after years of campaigning for victims of abuse but still wants to continue the discussion surrounding the issue.
Speaking on The Today Show, she said: "Everything has gone full circle. I did AGT for seven years, then I had a five-year gap and now I'm back on the panel. It seems like perfect timing because I was in a very abusive relationship for 10 years, got out of that, wrote my book, and started campaigning for my charity Women's Aid.
"Just raising the awareness for what abuse does and what the side effects of the trauma are. It's a topic I feel so passionate about because it is an epidemic and I don't think we talk about it enough," Mel explained. "Me being back on the panel at AGT, I'm in such a safe space without having to hide or lie anymore and just being in my body and my everything."
"I didn't realise how bad my relationship was until I'd gotten out of it and then I went down the check line of what abuse looks like, I ticked every single box," she continued.
The Spice Girls star — who has 10-year-old Madison with Stephen as well as Phoenix, 24, with first husband Jimmy Gulzar, and 16-year-old Angel from her relationship with Eddie Murphy — struggles to look back on her marriage to Stephen but admitted that even though she initially felt like "nothing" after the alleged abuse, she has built herself back up and is trying to be the "best version" of herself she can be for own sake and for that of her children.
She added: "My relationship was just — it's not even good talking about it but I think we have to. I had to make a lot of changes in myself. When you leave something like that, you're left feeling like nothing. You literally have to build yourself up, how to trust, how to love yourself, and how to function again back into normal society.
"It's really hard. It gets easier, but you have to live with it side-by-side because you can't erase what's happened to you or undo what you've been through. I've got three kids that I'm raising and I'm constantly trying to make sure that we're all right as a unit but number one that I'm okay so I'm the best version of myself for my kids."